When I finished the first version of this website, I was as happy as a kid with a new toy. It was the first time that I build something personal, that aligns with my views about the world and the internet, and that doesn't try to manipulate people into using it. It's just a place where I'm being me. I released it two months ago planning to make it my personal garden where I keep writing my thoughts and ideas and anything that comes to my mind.
Two months passed, yet not a single article was written. I hadn't even updated my now page since then. It's funny and sad at the same time, to shatter an empire you built over the span of years just to build another one on top of its ruins.
For the past two years, I've been freelancing and building projects ranging from simple websites to large mobile apps for regional companies. I now have a big portfolio, in-depth expertise in the domain of mobile development and a steady stream of projects. However, the last 6 weeks were extremely stressful. And as bad as it was, it made me realize a few things that will change my path moving forward.
Quitting software development
It all boils down to a simple question: what am I trying to accomplish with the work I'm doing? In the span of two years, I never worked on something that I felt passionate about. I was literally just building projects for money and money alone. I wasn't enjoying it, and I can't see myself doing this any longer. Don't get me wrong, software development is super satisfying and rewarding as a hobby. However, it's also super stressful as a job.
That's why moving forward, I'll progressively quit the software development industry. I'll still be taking projects as a part time job because I need the pocket money, but I will be focusing on finding a new career path. I still have no idea what this is going to be, but I know that if I take things step by step the road will become clearer eventually.
I got back to studying cyber security, and hopefully as I progress with it I'll figure out what job would appeal to me the most in that domain. It was definitely a hard decision. On the surface, it feels like I'm throwing away the entire portfolio I built into the trash. But deep down I know that all the knowledge, experience and expertise will help me grow quicker as a security researcher.
I guess I'm back to square zero. To the phase in my life where I need to figure out what to do and where to go from here. I have no idea whether this is a good decision or not. Only time will tell...
The future of this blog
I don't know. I seriously don't know... I have no idea why I'm even writing this post right now. I even feel like I might delete it later. But it doesn't matter anyway because probably no one on earth is going to read it. That's the good thing for now. I have no commitments, and I'm just talking to myself here and writing out my thoughts to make them clearer inside my head.
I hope that, eventually, I'll get back to writing. Until then, I'll try to keep my life on track and figure out what I'm going to do with it. Right now, I just feel like I want to delete everything. It's most probably because I'm feeling burned out, which is why I'll take a break before making any big decisions.
Anyways... That's enough for today.
If anyone is reading this, thank you for getting this far. You're an amazing human, and I hope you have a wonderful day!